Yesterday I was shaking
like an addict in withdrawal.
Adrenaline heightened senses,
overwhelming me with awareness.
Each sound burrowing into my soul
every noise leaching
through gaps in my consciousness
I could feel the terror.
A proliferation of potential panic pouring upon me,
running ravenous into the nerves down my spine
The cold shadow of stagnant fear cast over me
by the recounting of regurgitated memories.
Today I feel the adrenaline oozing through my veins
It does not distract me but fuels my enthusiasm,
manipulates my motivation.
Allows me an escape to the experience of life as it could be.
Fear fills me now, in these moments of vivid lucidity.
How long can it last?
What will I be returned to when this reprieve is relinquished
and how long before my next release to sanity?